1.22.2011

Time.


A little while after I put my little miss to bed, she began calling me.
With a roll of the eyes, I had Joel put our movie on hold and clobbered up the stairs.

I snuggled up beside her and asked her why she wasn't sleeping...
she just began yattering on about all kinds of stuff.

Suddenly I was struck...

See I'm getting it again...
I can't even type, cause my eyes are welling up now...

She's just getting so big
and beautiful
and vibrant
and fun
and and and

I put my lips to her ear and whispered...
"do you want to know something?"

"What?" She whispered back.

"I love you"

She giggled and said she loved me too.

"You're still my baby girl"

Now this she thinks is really funny...
she points to a picture of herself
(when she really was a brand spankin' new baby)
that sits on her shelf
and informs me that that's when she was my baby girl,
but she's going to be 5 in April.

I literally had to bury my face into her neck so she wouldn't see the massive tears rolling down my cheeks.
I kissed her head and told her to go to sleep.
I then blubbered my way back down the stairs to a stunned Joel.
I tried to stammer out some kind of explanation...
Mags... so big... used to be a baby... time... 5... FIVE...
He proceeded to wrap his arms around me and explain the importance of progression.

I'm just so glad that I went back up there tonight...
so so so glad.
I don't want to miss those moments.

Lately time has seemingly been my enemy...
moments remembered in blurs,
constantly scrambling,
averting or taking care of unforeseen crisis,
knowing that I'm wrapped too tight.

Not tonight...
tonight was perfect.



5 comments:

Dave, Laura, Maggie and Chloe said...

Regs, you made me cry. Too often I get flustered and overwhelmed with my 2 little ones....I need to slow down and appreciate more moments like these. My little Maggie is going to be 3 in March, how can that be?
Thank you for the sweet post and reminder to relax and embrace more moments, they will grow up too fast.

ec said...

i know. i know exactly what you mean.

this was beautifully written.

brock + amy said...

well...I may or may not have creeped right back on you, okay, I did. I love your blog! And you family is gorgeous- seriously, BE-utiful! And I cried reading this, my baby surprised us and started rolling, he's not a newborn anymore!

Jennyanne said...

You need to write a book about everything and nothing and (do your own photography for it) and that would make me very happy.

Perfectly put. It's crazy how much more those moments have meant to me lately. I think it has something to do with that haze you were referring to and how much you wish you could turn back time when that happens.

I love your little family.

Rocia said...

yummy...i love it. just wait until she turns seven and the goofy'ness' kicks in...yikes...i'm still trying to get used to it.